Too many variants? A rant from Beardy

 Intro to all things BEARDY!
Lets begin with an introduction first!   Hi I am an old as dirt, comic jerk.  The Toylab crew calls me Beardy so CALL ME BEARDY.  I look like I belong on Duck Dynasty but couldn't shoot a gun to save my life.  After meeting the Toylab crew at their weekly Nerdfast meetings in Denver I began discussing with them the idea of creating my own damn blog.  But hell, that's hard for an old timer like me.  Instead they have graciously allowed me to post my rants HERE!  The following is a non scientific, anecdotally infused diatribe by yours truly.  If people like my rants I will post more and if you don't, well go F$&# yourself and have a nice life you F$#$ing A#$ hole.

Rant Numero Uno!  TOO MANY VARIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walk into any comic shop and you will see variants, variants, and more variants.  Its like Variant machine puked all over the F%#$ing place.

What the F$%$ are variants?  Have you been living under a rock the freaking things are everywhere!

Variant Comics have a different cover than a regular cover.  The idea behind them used to be that the variants featured different artists or a different style, and were also more rare.  

Once upon a time I'd argue they made sense.  Sometimes the variant covers were more risky, silly, absurd or even risque.  With limited printings of these covers it made sense for collectors to swoop in and buy them.  However comic stores became wise to this and began selling these covers for more money.

That is right once upon a time Variants were cool, they were special.

Now though?  There are tons of variants, every comic store seems to have them.  While some of these variants are indeed cool many just seem frivolous.  I noticed this effect first with the relaunch of Amazing Spider-Man #1.  Which also happens to be one of the top selling comics of the past decade.  However, it did not end with Amazing Spider-Man it continued and now it seems as though every Marvel comic features something like 4 variants.   Of these variants often times they feature art work that A) Makes absolutely no sense  B) Has nothing to do with story in the comic and C) Is lower quality than the regular cover.

These lower quality variants are everywhere.  They are helping the big publishers make lots of money but.....WHY ARE COMIC BOOK GEEKS BUYING THESE THINGS?

Marvel's recent Secret Wars event has brought this issue to a head.  They have a great artist doing all of the regular covers, why the heck would someone want to buy a variant of a worse cover....WHY?   Even with a lower print # who wants to go out and buy a worse cover?

As an old man Ive seen fads come and gooooooooooo.  This variant thing reaks of a fad. It stinks, it smells, and whats worse!

NOW DC IS DOING IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can say to my fellow comic book geeks is to stop buying these stupid things.  If you like an artist's art on the cover fine, but don't just knee jerk buy these things.  The day will come where you will go on ebay and that silly variant of a green teddy bear you got on Secret Wars #3 that you paid $45 dollars for is now selling for a buck.  The day is coming chums.

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